PDF Ü BOOK Wings By Aprilynne Pike Ü DANPASHLEY

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Wings By Aprilynne PiTraordinary tale of magic and intrigue romance and danger everything you thought you knew about faeries will be changed forever TBR Reduction Challange #5 KirstenAlright guys I’m throwing in the towel I just can’t get over the fact that the girl has a giant flower growing out of her back Ew I mean eeeew Yeah and then there are some things that just plain annoy me Dialogues like this one for exampleIt took her a few seconds to find her voiceWho are you?He paused and studied her with a strange unflinching look in his eyesWell? Laurel promptedYou don’t know me do you? He askedUm I don’t know about you but I think the uestion Who are you kind of implies that she does not know him headdeskWhat I have to admit though is that this book is uite funny Unintentionally so but still funnyStatements like Don’t worry I’ll keep my distance from your blossom had me in tears because I was laughing so hard For on that check out Arlene’s awesome reviewI’ve read 112 pages now and I’m still not hooked and I just don’t feel like finishing it Further the whole plant thing makes it incredibly hard if not impossible for me to take any of this seriously I’m bursting out laughing every other sentenceI don't know maybe I would have gotten used to the plant thing if I had kept on reading but as I said I don't feel like it so for now Wings is going to find its way back into the depths of my shelves where it has been hiding out for the past year Thanks for the push anyway Kirsten

MOBI Wings By Aprilynne Pike

PDF Ü BOOK Wings By Aprilynne Pike Ü DANPASHLEY à ❮Read❯ ➵ Wings Author Aprilynne Pike – Danpashley.co.uk Laurel was mesmerized staring at the pale things with wide eyes They were terrifyingly beautiful—too beautiful for wordsLaurel turned to the mirror again her eyes on the hovering petals thatLaurel was mesmerized staring at the pale things with wide eyes They were terrifyingly beautiful too beautiful for wordsLaurel I probably shouldn't have read this If you read the pre read section at the bottom of the review you'll see that I didn't even intend to order it Yet since I had it I thought I'd give it a goI lasted 24 pages because that's all my sanity could take Laurel is a magazine beautiful waif like teenager who leaves homeschooling in grade 10 in order to begin her high school career And that's when the story stops making sense Not that the above makes any sense either Models in magazines aren't even as airbrushed beautiful as models in magazines I would just like to point that out nowThe comment could fly past as poor characterization and sloppy writing if it didn't go hand in hand with Laurel's horrible relationship with food In fact a great deal of emphasis is placed on what she eats Once again not entirely a problem except attention is also placed on how she feels when she eats Which is guilty and like a battle has been lost when she eats half a pear and half a cup of juice I know Nickhun I knowThe writing is just terrible and the characterization can't even be mentioned because I'm pretty sure Goodread's lax profanity rules would not cover what I would end up sayingMostly it's all so very saccharine sweet and ickly chaste yet oddly kinky and unbelievably tame I feel like I'm describing Disneyland here but if I do that might make people think of fun Notice I deliberately left fun off the list But luckily there was comparable amounts of vomit Spoilers below folksApparently APPARENTLY Laurel is not actually a human but a fairy And the reason she is a vegan is because she is a plant Like as in she is not a red blooded mammal but is an actual plantI'm sorry I'm going to need a judge's ruling on that Thank you Steve Carell I think you've said it allLook you just You don't do that You justdon't I mean what school of biology did you go to? The Stephanie Meyer School of Biology that's whatI mean and correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't 8th grade biology talk a lot about how plants photosynthesize to make energy and how they do respire but at night when there's no light and about how they don't have things like digestive systems and they don't have blood but hey they do have Chloroplasts and Chlorophylls And how they don't digest nutrients by eating them but by absorbing them through their roots There just doesn't seem to be a lot of thought put into thisI mean look at organs like the brain How does her brain work? They need A LOT Of protein A huge amount actually Which you can get by eating a healthy vegan diet but she's not even doing that Scientists don't look at an ape like creature and have this conversationSo Doctor Rosenbaum what do you think it is? Mammal? Reptile? Plant? Rock?I don't know I just don't know If only there was some way of determining these things Look just to be safe put it down as a bird Just because it doesn't fly doesn't mean it can'tI used to think that the old troll argument of You're overthinking it Stop thinking so much and you'll enjoy it was full of shit But in this case they're right My highly developed mammalian brain just can not handle this level of stupidity But even if I could somehow switch it off Well there enough other bad stuff in here that would spoil it anywayPre read commentsI'm not entirely sure why I'm reading this For some reason I thought there was some controversy over this author and that I'd barred it but it's not on my Do Not Read shelf so I must have been mistaken I went to pick up books from the library this afternoon and it was among them I don't clearly remember ordering it so I asked for the order date and went home to Mr Kennedy The conversation went something like thisMe Hey honey was I drinking heavily on the 15th of December?Mr Kennedy Hmmmthe 15th was a Thursday That's Corona dayMe Ugh Okay definitely drunk That explains itMr Kennedy Let me guess you found traffic cones and police hats again?Me Thinks for a second That probably would have been the preferable outcome

Aprilynne Pike ¹ Wings By Aprilynne Pike DOC

Turned to the mirror again her eyes on the hovering petals that floated beside her head They looked almost like wingsIn this ex I will admit this up front I've been doing a Summer reading project analysing the impact and influence the popularity of the Twilight series has had on paranormal YA and since this book had a Meyer uote raving it on the front I thought I'd see what it was like I didn't go in with very high expectation but even then I was just sullen faced and WTF ing by the end of this bookThe story starts of in a basic enough manner with Laurel going to her first day of high school after moving to a new town and a lifetime of home schooling She sits in biology class – take your first Twilight drink now – And immediately gets all tongue tied and shy over an extremely attractive science nerd called David To give Pike some credit at least she’s setting up her love story early and not kicking her heels with pointless descriptions of everything else going on like Meyer but give her time and that’ll change Soon enough she makes a distinctly Bella Swan style comment comes through“Below the eyes was a warm but casual smile with very straight teeth Braces probably Laurel thought as her tongue unconsciously ran over her own naturally straight teeth”How nice of her to zero in on appearances so uickly into the story Sets her priorities up uickly and believe me it gets worse towards the end The first 3 chapters are pretty slow moving and unremarkable same with the characters David seems like the sort of guy you could imagine starring in a non threatening Disney family sitcom as the doting boyfriend of Miley Cyrus or something while tweens drool over him at Hot Topic signings On a related side note the movies rights for the book are optioned by Disney with Miley Cyrus attached to star This seems particularly fitting because there are points where I just want to throw things at Laurel’s face in the same way I do with Cyrus Laurel isn’t particularly fun smart caring special or in possession of any sort of personality trait She seldom eats anything other than fruit vegetables and cans of Sprite haha I see what you did there Pike which doesn’t seem to be of much concern to her medicine hating hippie parents she’s skinny and proud of it comparing herself to supermodels and was abandoned on her parents’ doorstep in a basket under mysterious circumstances This is all told to us there’s very little showing in this book unless it’s something to do with flowers or David’s abs seriously which 15 year old boy is ripped? They make Channel 5 documentaries about body building teens and not to be complimentary which get their own tacked on scene which is completely unnecessary to the story I can’t call it a plot because nothing resembling any sort of conflict or anything interesting happens until about 280 pages in So yeah grab a pillow and some caramel shortbread 4 chapters in something finally happens Well if you can call a zit a plot device Typically for teen girls Laurel worries about the blemish my back looked like the Himalaya mountain range for most of my teenage years but after her earlier shallow comments reading her worries about this rapidly growing bump turning into “something ugly” whilst being uietly judgemental about girls with similar situations doesn’t exactly warm me to the leading ‘heroine’ Eventually the bump turns out not to be cancerous or God forbid a zit and soon it sprouts into a giant flower I will relent a little here and say this was a pretty interesting take on the fairy mythos At least it was enough to recapture my interest after the 5 chapters of non plot and characters that give Julian Sands hope in the personality and charisma department It’s serviceable stuff but it’s not exactly a page turner unless you mean in the sense that you want to turn the pages just to get on with something else important Does she tell her parents? Of course not that would reuire giving them an active role in the story At least they actually seem to care unlike Bella’s parents in Twilight who exist to serve no other purpose than to make sure child services aren’t called out They’re pretty useless but they occasionally show some interest in their daughter Instead Laurel tells David who views it with geekish glee which was kind of cute don’t judge me scientists are hot and decides to do some experiments where it emerges that Laurel is actually a plant Yep a plant Somehow I can’t imagine the Twilight meadows scene being as devastatingly romantic for Twi hards if Edward had been a plant“Say it Bella Say it”“Poinsettia”Chapter 8 introduces us to the generic suspicious figure here to buy Laurel’s family’s old house from them How do we know he’s suspicious? Because he’s ugly He doesn’t even say anything particularly devious but we know he’s evil and out to ruin Laurel’s life immediately because he’s unattractive This particularly cruel element of the story only gets worse believe me And for those who are taking notes now is the time to note the introduction of the unnecessary 3rd wheel in the most pointless love triangle ever He’s a big smug but otherwise of the same devastatingly gorgeous young male figures with no other personality traits and his name is Tamani He’s here to tell Laurel all about her true identity as a faerie Laurel doesn’t believe him – having giant freaking plants grow out of your back is as normal a part of puberty as growing boobs and wanting to kill everyone for 4 days a month – and runs off We’re 128 pages in – 10 chapters – and there’s no sign of a plot or any action beyond moping and boy perving But now we’ve got Tamani on the scene and Laurel can’t deny the amazing passionate connection they shared despite barely speaking or doing anything Y’ know – true love To uote the phrase that left a million nerds fuming “It’s magic we don’t have to explain it” When it comes to the revelation of Laurel’s true identity it’s all described in a very tell don’t show manner; surely that’s writing rule 1 broken already? Tamani describes the faerie court and their particular purposes and then the most awkward part of the book until another 171 pages happens It turns out the flower on Laurel’s back is the faerie euivalent of that kind of flower Faeries use their blossom found only in female faeries to pollinate and reproduce In their first scene together Tamani accidentally got sparkly pollen all over Laurel’s arm surely the faerie euivalent of premature ejaculation He didn’t mean to do it of course; it had just been so long since he’d been around a woman that he couldn’t help himself She was asking for it Showing off that flower like it was a short skirt in a dingy nightclub The extra kicker comes when Tamani takes glee in telling Laurel that faeries may use pollination for reproducing but sex is for fun Responsibility free sex; no risk of pregnancy or STDs other than maybe a little prick Way to appeal to your base Pike Seriously this is appealing to teen fantasies than free cupcakes The topic of sex and puberty is mentioned but it’s never expanded upon It just feels like Pike’s trying to be adult and ‘edgy’ for a YA audience even though the writing itself seems suited to a pre teen audience Along with his habit of fabulously coming over Laurel it turns out that Laurel volunteered to be a faerie plant in the human world because faeries age mentally much uicker than their bodies suggest sort of like the uterus chewing demon child in reverse and Tamani has been watching her for her entire life As he says it’s not spying it’s helping I wonder how distraught he was when there weren’t any opportunities to sneak into her room to watch her sleep Laurel is also older than she thinks and is 19 instead of 16 Instant age of consent About 250 pages in we get some sort of plot twist barely one with Laurel’s dad falling extremely ill With this comes Laurel and David’s overwhelming urge to investigate the ugly suspicious man who is going to buy the old Sewell house the gateway to the faerie land of Avalon is on the land 2 of the man Barnes’s henchmen are described as “downright grotesue” continuing the theme of ugly EVIL Initiate slow clap seuence We get a bit of action with the henchmen attempting to kill Laurel and David in a good old fashioned drowning But luckily Laurel’s oxygen producing breath saves David Finally a life saving snog I’ve never seen that beforewaitWe get further tell don’t show description of faerie mythology combining King Arthur with Oberon from A Midsummer Night’s Dream tell me that’s not a crossover you’ve love to see but it’s just shoved in there to give the illusion of Pike giving a damn about anything other than the extremely contrived love triangle But along with this comes the scene that made this book turn from ‘meh’ material to ‘oh Christ what the hell?’ Tamani goes into a description of the villains of the story the trolls in which the topic of symmetry is discussed The symmetrical one’s face is the beautiful they are like Laurel and Tamani Trolls lack this symmetry ergo they are ugly Not just ugly; hideous The trolls lack any other defining characteristic beyond being ugly and stupid because apparently these things go hand in hand and apparently their hideousness bothers the trolls themselves Troll mothers are known to abandon their babies if they’re too ugly or “misshapen” “When evolution has given up on you death is unavoidable”Seriously? Really Pike? Of all the elements of fail I expected to find in “Wings” ableism was not one of them So if one is ugly mentally or physically impaired we should just give up on them because evolution has clearly tried to weed them out? Forgive me if I’m a bit sensitive here I’m not a fan of such blatant displays of privilege in books aimed at an 11 audience To give the book credit it took 300 pages before it really pissed me off which is 299 than Twilight Maybe Bella and Laurel could get together to drink Sprite and judge the less than perfect they’d get along like a house on fire I’m just getting annoyed now time to wrap this up Blah blah blah Laurel stops the trolls Tamani is shot but he’s returned to Avalon where Laurel is presented with magic potion to cure her dad and a big arse diamond to give her parents enough money to be able to keep the old house and it’s all business as usual Laurel even gets to kiss both guys It turns out that Tamani was her former faerie BFF when they were precocious kiddies in Avalon and is hopelessly in love with her I’d say Pike just shoved in the love triangle to make up for the lack of plot but she seems to have just shoved every plot element into the story without any real structure or thought According to her blog Pike wrote the book in 6 weeks and it shows Overall the meh factor for this book was at an all time highlow It was an easy enough read although there are a few moments where Pike tries to Meyer out on the dialogue The mythos is interesting enough but never focused on instead spending page after page telling us unnecessary things shoving in covers to fill the plot holes with no care and mooning over a love triangle that couldn’t be contrived if it tried The characters are dull and everything is handled in a serviceable but lifeless manner The attempt to shove a plot in with the introduction of the ugly evil trolls just pissed me off; not only was it shallow and ableist it was just plain lazy writing Pike got a 4 book deal from this story so I guess there’s hope for us all It’s often described as Twilight with faeries and it feels a lot like a Twilight inspiredrip off I can see how it would appeal to the Twilight crowd and it’s relatively undemanding stuff I’ll probably forget all about it in the morning