The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v Wade doc Û Hardcover read Ö danpashley

doc Ð The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v Wade ↠ Ann Fessler

A powerful and groundbreaking revelation of Who Went PDF #201 the secret history of the million women who surrendered children for adoption in the several decades before Roe v Wade In this deeply moving work Ann Fessler brings to light the lives of hundreds of thousands of young single American women forced to give up their newborn children in the years following World War II and before Roe v Wade The The Girls ePUB #232 Girls Who Went Away tells a story not of wild and carefree sexual liberation but rather of a devastating double standard that has had punishing long term effects on these women and on the children they gave up for adoption Based on Fessler's groundbreaking interviews it brings to brilliant life these women's voices and the spirit of the time allowing each to share her own experience in gri This wasn't a book I expected to surprise me but it did This is one of those times I'm so glad I'm a part of the online book community because I never would have heard of this book otherwise and it was a very worthwhile reading experience I wouldn't have known what I was missing of course but I'm glad I know nowThis book completely changed the way I look at adoption Completely Like that's not even hyperbole The Girls Who Went Away is not a book about adoption per se It's a book about a specific period of time in American history when unprotected sexual activity was increasing sexual education was non existent and cultural attitudes about sex and specifically sex and young girls were just about as regressive as you can get It was unthinkable for an unmarried young woman to have a baby so girls were sent away to homes for unwed mothers gave birth and were oftentimes forcibly separated from their children Most of them were given absolutely no choice about any of it and even those who supposedly chose for themselves to surrender their babies didn't really do any choosing if you can even call a choice between living a potentially normal non shamed life as a single mother with no support systems versus giving that baby away and getting the chance to have a baby and start over and have babies the right way a choice There were no choices to be had; there was doing what you were supposed to do and there was the unthinkableThe author Ann Fessler is herself an adoptee whose mother surrendered her during this period of time and it was this ultimately that spurred her to launch a decades long project of chronicling the experiences of birth mothers from this time period The results are somewhat staggeringI think people who have not surrendered children or been adopted themselves are conditioned to think very very differently about adoption than the experience itself sometimes warrants We have this romantic notion that the birth mother is doing this noble thing for her baby giving them up so they can live their best lives in homes that can readily care for them and that baby will go to a family who maybe can't have a baby of their own and will be raised in a loving supportive environment And not only that but that by doing so the mother will be better off herself unencumbered by the mistakes she's made That's best case scenario but it's not always reality Even in the best case scenario that birth mother is most likely going to be feeling the effects of surrendering her child for the rest of her life and it will affect her in ways too numerous to count not to mention the affect on the child who might not end up in that perfect dream home at all and even if they do could still suffer from feelings of rejection and abandonmentAnd this is not a book about the best case scenarioIn fact the rhetoric surrounding adoption is in full play here as the homes for unwed mothers made it common practice to beat it into the mothers' heads that they were doing what was best for their child that the babies were going to better homes What they didn't say but which was also meant and very much felt is that th

text The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v Wade

The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v WadePping and Girls Who Went Kindle #213 intimate detail Today when the future of the Roe decision and women's reproductive rights stand suarely at the front of a divisive national debate Fessler brings to the fore a long overlooked history of single women in the fifties sixties and early seventies In Fessler an adoptee herself traveled the country interviewing women willing to speak publicly about why they relinuished their children Researching archival records and the Girls Who Went Away The PDFEPUBpolitical and social climate of the time she uncovered Girls Who Went Away The PDFEPUBa story of three decades of women who under enormous social and family pressure were coerced or outright forced to give their babies up for adoption Fessler deftly describes the impossible position in which these women found them When we left St Mary’s that day I knew my life had been changed forever I wasn’t the same fun girl I had been Going back to high school was very hard I was very distracted My grades suffered I couldn’t concentrate on the things my friends were saying or the things going on around me Most of the talk seemed so trivial to me I thought about Madeline constantly I was trying to be so brave for my parents and I was trying to keep up the façade Everyone told me I should feel fine and that I should go back to school and be a teenager and go to football games and parties and it just hit me that I’d never be the same I would never be like the other girls There are some really good and personal comments in the GR reviews for this book It won’t hurt to read them even before you read the book There are no spoilers I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since this is for many women an issue that touches deeply And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that as I scrolled through review after review that they were almost ALL from women Where are you guys Don’t you think about this kind of human life stuff That did surprise me I adopted a girl from China I often think about her birth parents So this book hits home for me even though this happens in the US Mei Mei had and has a cleft palate; she was seriously malnourished when she was found abandoned at the age of about three months You may know that a baby with a cleft palate is very challenging when babies get their nutrition by sucking A baby with a cleft palate cannot suck effectively being unable to create a vacuum in the mouth due to the cleft So we imagined that Mei Mei’s birth parents tried to provide nourishment unsuccessfully and watched her fail to thrive before their eyes They had very limited resources and didn’t know what else to do They could watch their baby slowly die or they could “abandon” her so she could get the medical care that she needed to survive I can’t even imagine how horrible making that decision must have been and how powerless they must have felt Now this story is just our surmise from the limited information that we have But it does seem like something like that happened Most babies are abandoned relatively uickly after birth but the birth parents tried to keep Mei Mei for three months and only gave up in desperation after doing all they could manage to do I get a lump in my throat every time I tell this story to someone I am reading another book at the same time I am reading this one Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother It is about women in China who abandon or even kill their baby girls The feelings in these two books are matched Not only did I adopt a Chinese girl who was abandoned but I was a teenager when my first son was born He saved me from Vietnam I had the experience of being a teenage parent so when I read about the teenagers in The Girls Who Went Away my emotions and empathy are right there with themOne of the common phrases in this book is “No one talked about it ever” Women tell how they never talked with anyone about this for years once the baby was born and given away

Ann Fessler ↠ The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v Wade text

The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v Wade doc Û Hardcover read Ö danpashley ✓ ❮Reading❯ ➽ The Girls Who Went ASelves as a sexual revolution heated up in the postwar years birth control was tightly restricted and abortion proved prohibitively expensive or life endangering At the same time a postwar economic boom brought millions of American families into the middle class exerting its own pressures to conform to a model of family perfection Caught in the middle single pregnant women were shunned by family and friends evicted from schools sent away to maternity homes to have their children alone and often treated with cold contempt by doctors nurses and clergy The majority of the women Fessler interviewed have never spoken of their experiences and most have been haunted by grief and shame their entire adult lives A searing and important look into a long overlooked social history The Girls Who Went Away is their story ””You asked me why I agreed to be interviewed and I think it was because you were here because you came here and spoke to me There’s still that voice in me that said “Who would be interested No one cared then why would they care now’ I was abandoned when it was right in everybody’s face so I still believe that nobody cares I am here I do exist Maybe I can find someone who cares” Heartbreaking soul wrenching but oh so necessary In telling the stories of the girls who went away Ann Fessler makes those who weren’t aware of the subject extremely aware and those who lived back then but continue to deny it and live in shame unable to hide their ignorance any Through carefully researched statistics and personal stories of some of those girls who went away she shows us the pain heartbreak and sheer torture it was to have a child that was loved by the person that mattered most the girls but shunned and reviled by the society they were to be brought into In a way those girls who went away never came back Their physical self came back but through the stories and interviews Fessler gave it’s all the apparent that emotionally the girls who went away are gone forever leaving a shallow core behind Some reviewers criticized the fact that the stories the woman told were too repetitive and all the same experience In my opinion it made the book stronger in the process because it showed how common in freuency this happened to the unlikeliest of people The people that thought such a thing would never happen to them The normalcy of white middle class America and myth of the perfect family completely shatteredFessler fearlessly tackles the horrific double standard that exists when it comes to teen pregnancy; a double standard that never really went away and probably never will The girls always went away but the boys never did They were not shunned outcast reviled sexually assaulted afterwards made to wear an invisible Scarlet Letter on their chest Their lives went on without a glitch The girls had to pay the price The stories were my favorite part of the book though I did skim some of the rest of the book that wasn’t story related and explanation of life and the social standards back then That indeed did get repetitive but I could have listened to the stories for hours I didn’t care that the stories were sometimes one in the same These woman have lived in pain for so long that I felt it was the least I could do So to all the girls who went away those hidden and unhidden bent and broken scarred and anguishedI see you I hear you I believe youYou matter